I just finished watching a press conference which, in my humble opinion, should be marked in the annals of Washington stupidity as the absolute stupidest press conference of all time. That's a pretty sweeping statement, but it was a pretty breathtakingly stupid presser. It was a giant profile in cowardice, really.

Four Republican senators -- Lindsey Graham, John McCain, Ron Johnson, and Bill Cassidy -- all appeared to denounce their party's "skinny repeal" bill. They couldn't say enough bad things about it, in fact. I did not take notes, but will be searching for a transcript later to memorialize the stunning language that (in particular) McCain and Graham used against it. Skinny repeal was called a bad bill, a horrible bill, a stupid bill, a destructive bill, a counterproductive bill, a bill which will solve nobody's problems, a bill which will make everything worse, and -- the ultimate Republican insult -- a bill which does not repeal Obamacare. Again, I can't claim those are direct quotes, but I feel certain that the late-night television hosts will be featuring some of the worst denunciations of the bill in the very near future for all to see, because the language was that jaw-dropping.

The entire point of the press conference, though, was for the senators to announce that they would not be voting for this horrible, horrible piece of legislation... unless Paul Ryan assured them it would never become law. "Save us from ourselves!" doesn't even begin to describe this stupidity.

The truly stupid part? All of them seemed to indicate that they'd be just fine voting for the worst piece of legislation ever, as long as they had a guarantee it wouldn't become law, and instead move to a House/Senate conference committee. Got that? It's a horrible bill, but I'll vote for it if you promise it'll never become law.

The real reason this is such a stupid position to take is that there is absolutely nothing stopping the Senate from continuing their efforts to craft a real bill if the skinny repeal bill fails. Nothing! The senators all expressed their hopes that voting for a stinker of a bill would then lead to a conference committee where different ideas could be fully debated and scored by the C.B.O. But all of that could easily happen in the Senate without the skinny repeal bill. There is no real reason to vote on a stinker of a bill, because skinny bill or no skinny bill, the Senate could still just do its job. This vote is in no way crucial, because there is no Senate rule that states if the skinny bill fails, all progress has to halt.

Of course, today's a fast-moving day, so by the time you read this the process will doubtlessly have advanced. Paul Ryan may have held his own press availability and publicly signed a blood oath to move to conference committee and not to just move the skinny repeal bill to the floor of the House.

With such a guarantee in place, the GOP senators will thus be freed up to vote for the worst piece of legislation any of them has ever seen, secure in the knowledge that it will never become law. It'd be hard to come up with a stupider idea. It's like watching the reductio ad absurdum fallacy play out right before everyone's eyes. Again: profiles in cowardice.

There's a non-stupid way for senators to act in such a situation, of course. If the bill is the biggest Dumpster fire of all time, then just don't vote for it in the first place. Easy! That way you'll be 100 percent sure it'll never become law.

But that would mean standing up to Mitch McConnell, and his attempt to ram through the most unpopular piece of legislation since public opinion polling began. "Slow down, Mitch," the senators would signal (by voting down skinny repeal), "we think we should spend some more time debating the whole issue rather than this insane rush to pass a hastily-concocted piece of nonsense." This is what people like John McCain keep saying they're really for, but they keep preventing it from happening by voting on bills that just keep getting worse by the day (and today, by the hour). Forcefully saying "Stop trying to ram crap down our throats" would end this exercise in futility, and force the Senate back to the regular order that, so far, has been entirely bypassed by both McConnell and Ryan.

Watching today's presser was like peering through Alice's looking glass, into a world where up is down and nothing makes sense. The senators tried to outdo each other explaining what a horrendous bill it is, but then ended with: "...and we'll only vote for it if we know it won't be passed by the House." This is not only a total abdication of their constitutional duty, it is going to set them up to look like real weenies if a conference committee ever does take place. "Why should we listen to anything you have to say?" their House Republican counterparts will scornfully say, in such a committee. "You couldn't even pass a real bill in your own house, so it's pretty clear who has their act together and who doesn't." Then the House members will just steamroll the senators with whatever they come up with and say "take it or leave it."

I am at least glad that someone within the Beltway seems to have either read the column I wrote yesterday, or come to the same conclusion independently. At least now, nobody will be able to say they were blindsided by the possibility of the House just passing skinny repeal and putting it on Trump's desk. That's a relief, albeit a minor one.

But I certainly didn't expect the reaction to such a conclusion to be an outburst of moronic stupidity from four Republican senators. These four were absolutely terrified that skinny repeal would become law, and they explained why the bill was so bad at great length. And then they explained what would be necessary for them to vote for the worst bill ever.

If they're so deeply concerned with the possibility of skinny repeal becoming law, and yet want to see the Senate pass something in order to "move the process along," then there is an easy and non-stupid solution. Pass a single paragraph as a bill, stating: "The Senate wants to repeal and replace the Affordable Care Act and we move that a conference committee with the House of Representatives be assembled in order to agree on what should be in that legislation." Period. That's all it would take. The House couldn't pass this as law, because it would be a meaningless law -- therefore avoiding the problem that worries McCain, Graham, and the others. If you just want to check a legislative box to move to the next step in the process, there is no reason whatsoever to do so with such an incredibly bad bill as the skinny repeal. There is no requirement that the Senate take the stupidest path possible, in other words.

We may know within a few hours what the fate of the skinny repeal bill will be. But if any of these four senators winds up voting for it, they will be doing so for the stupidest of reasons, as they helpfully explained in today's presser. Which is why it should go down in history for being at least among the top ten stupidest press conferences in all of American history.

I can't wait to see the transcript, personally.

-- Chris Weigant

Follow Chris on Twitter: @ChrisWeigant